


it was so dark (but suddenly)

by sunless_arizona



Series: pink is his favorite color [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Fear, Fighting, Gen, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Monopoly (Board Game), Steven gets poofed, The wedding wasnt crashed but theyre on their way..., a lot of crying, not in this fic tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunless_arizona/pseuds/sunless_arizona
Summary: Steven is poofed on an ordinary mission.





	1. it can't get any better but it sure as hell can get worse

**Author's Note:**

> pls note this is an au where the diamonds dont attack the wedding but this is after that

It was _supposed_ to be a routine mission: Garnet says they need to capture a corrupted gem, spend hours searching for said gem (sometimes days), and capture her. Easy enough - the team had quickly adapted to Steven’s presence among them, coming to rescue when he needed it, though he had been getting better and better with his powers every day, and their worries (about him being injured during missions, at least) grew smaller and smaller with every successful mission.

This, unfortunately, did not end up being a routine mission. In the beginning it was, of course (everything that is _supposed to be_ starts normal), but this gem is especially unpredictable - even to Garnet. She does not think before she moves, changing her mind about how and who she will attack faster than the fusion’s future vision can keep up. Garnet hates that she does not see the creature’s spike pierce through Steven’s neck before it actually happens, hates the way his eyes widen, blood seeping from around the intrusion, hands jerkily moving up to uselessly scratch against it. She _hates it hates it hates it_ and nearly splits apart from it but redirects her anger and fear to the corrupted gem that might’ve taken Steven from them and splits it apart instead of herself with the force of her blow, the monster’s gem clattering to the ground. A diamond-shaped gem falls too, and for a moment she thinks that _I guess that’s proof, isn’t it-_ but then she remembers that that gem is _Steven_ (or at least she hopes it still is) and she’s frozen, doesn’t want to look at but all three of her eyes are stuck on it, and tears fall in waterfalls from more than one. She cracks the corrupted gem down the middle before she gets control of herself, bubbling it away with the fissure still intact.  
  
When Pearl sees the gem, his gem _(her gem, because Steven’s has never looked that way, but she still remembers-),_ she is stuck between hope and fear for a moment - fear is much, much stronger and crushes any hope because _Steven._ She, too, is frozen for a moment (they all are, it’s too much, _it’s too much_ ), but then she is stumbling over to the gem (she does not know whose it is anymore) and holding it in her shaking hands. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until a drop lands on a plane of the diamond, shining pink.  
  
Amethyst does not remember how to think when she sees Steven moments before his form is simply gone, leaving a remnant that she is not sure is even him anymore. There is still blood on the rocky ground below where he had stood - not much, just what could escape to the ground before he is _gone_ , and suddenly she can’t help but think that it is _her fault, if only she had noticed, had gotten to him in time-_ and she nearly falls apart herself, but settles for staring open-mouthed at the diamond lying quietly on the ground. Her legs are shaking and it’s all she can do to hold herself up.

For Steven, it is pain and fear, and then it is dark. At least, that is what he can remember once it is dark. Before it is dark it is bad, and he cannot bring himself to think any harder on it. In fact, he can barely think at all - his mind is muffled and fuzzy and all he can think about is that he doesn’t feel completely _right_ , but something in him says that he can change that, he can make himself right again, so he does, and his skin tingles and his scalp itches and his eyes water, but he barely feels any of it.  
  
It is quiet in the house without Steven - though _without Steven_ has a different meaning than the times before. There is limited contact among the gems, but they all silently agree to watch over the gem when _(if)_ someone reforms. Pearl hovers over it for two days straight, crying on and off. The others sit with her in the beginning, Peridot too. Connie would be here if she knew, and they all know that somewhere in the backs of their minds, but Connie is not there because not one of them has the heart to tell her that her best friend may be _dead._ She has sword practice tomorrow, Pearl knows. Garnet already knows the other gem’s student will show up worried - Steven’s phone, left behind upon his bed before the mission, shows notifications of unread texts and missed calls and worried words. Future vision helps, obviously, but when she is looking into the future she is consumed with searching through paths for any sign of Steven. She cannot see far enough into any of them to guess at an outcome. She doesn’t leave the temple.

Amethyst is much quieter than usual, her usual bravado and gusto gone with Steven. She pretends to be alright, unworried, and throws herself into video games and food. She doesn’t ever clean up after herself, leaving things wherever they may fall. Pearl doesn’t notice it at first; she is quietly watching the vibrant pink gem _as a pearl should-_ but when she slowly snaps out of it, she is angry, and the first spoken word in the house in three days is a yell. Pearl and Amethyst get into a screaming match that escalates into a physical fight, and surprisingly enough it is not Amethyst who strikes first - Pearl summons her spear and just scratches the other gem’s arm, inaccurate and angry, unshed tears clinging to her eyes. Amethyst slams Pearl into the wall with her whip and the only reason they stop is the _clink_ of a gem hitting the floor. Pearl is cradling the stone before Amethyst can even react, checking and double checking and triple checking it for any sign of damage. Amethyst rolls her eyes and goes into her room, ignoring the dreadful concern and worry that twist her shifted stomach and the tear that nearly escapes her left eye before she can wipe it angrily away.

Peridot is fearful and sad - she doesn’t know if she can lose both Lapis _and_ Steven, and she is honestly afraid of what will happen if he never reforms. She has never known Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond, but she does know that if she dares to think that she could ever replace Steven- Well. Peridot has yelled at a Diamond before. She stays in the bathroom for the most part, occasionally moving to put on a new playlist, country music echoing against the walls; even so, there are hours of silence where she refuses to move for anything, and she has cried so much that she thinks maybe it’s better to simply not get attached to people. She ignores the noise of the fight, doesn’t care who or what stops it, and simply lies there.


	2. you gotta keep going

When Connie shows up, worry is painted over her face even before she opens the door. She spots the gem in an instant, takes another to process exactly what she is seeing, and, tears welling, she rushes over to where it is being carefully watched over by Pearl. She looks awful, exhaustion clear in her features, and barely twitches when Connie approaches her.  
“Is- Is he going to be okay?” Her voice shakes (as does the rest of her), and she gently touches the gem with one finger. The whole situation feels unreal, her brain struggling to fully comprehend it. It seems an eternity before Pearl answers, and neither of them are really sure how long it actually takes.

  
“We don’t know.” Pearl is quiet and somber, eyes fixed unerringly on the gem before her. Her clasped hands go whiter at the knuckles.  
“Oh.” Connie says, because that’s all she _can_ say - her mind is hazy, and the lights that are still on in the house are too bright. The muffled noise of the tv (left on by Amethyst two nights ago) seems to be coming from right inside her ear. She struggles onto a barstool and stares down at the gem with Pearl for an hour, hoping that perhaps simply being there would let Steven reform.

  
She doesn’t want to think about who could reform instead of Steven, but the portrait hanging serenely above the door mocks her cruelly. When she finally leaves, her parents waiting outside, she is numb. She doesn’t speak at all until they’re home, where the familiar surroundings and concern of her parents are enough to make her give into her emotions. She holds onto her parents as she cries, and eventually composes herself enough to tell them what’s wrong. Priyanka’s mind flashes back to a certain night, and the thought _What if Connie is next_ worms its way back into her mind with renewed force. Doug barely understands except that it is _bad_ , so he too holds his daughter, hoping for the best.

Steven is changing quietly in the dark, but something stops him - his gem is suggesting something different. Much bigger than what he is now, something that is definitely not him. He rejects it _(her)_ , because he is Steven, not whoever that may be - his gem reluctantly accepts his rejection, but one part of that image speaks to Steven. He feels a burning pain in his gut, really _feels it,_ and his eyes clenched tighter shut, his hands moving to his gem, which feels different, but _right-_ and it is over in an instant. He fades back into near-complete unawareness and it is peaceful.

Connie is back the next day, watching quietly over the diamond that may or may not be Steven. Pearl is there too, of course, but she looks even worse than before and Connie worries that she could fall over any second.

  
“Ma’am, you need to take a break.” She says quietly, not looking the gem in the face. Pearl barely reacts, but her mouth still twists into a small grimace, different from the quiet neutral state it had been in before. “...Ma’am?”

  
“I’m not taking a break, Connie. ...I have to do this for him.” The last part was murmured, the gem’s eyes still fixed on the stone in front of her.

“What about you?”  
  
“That’s not _important_.” Her voice is desperate.  
  
Connie nearly doesn’t continue. She is tired and sad and the only thing that makes her keep talking is that she knows Pearl is more than her of both of those things. She grits her teeth and speaks.  
“Yes, it does! You need to take care of yourself too! I know it’s hard, but you can’t spend all your time waiting for him to reform. This isn’t what he would want.”  
Pearl doesn’t look at her. Fresh tears well in her eyes as she stares down at the gem. She thinks of Steven, _her_ Steven, _their Steven,_ always smiling and always kind, who had never once looked down on them. On her. Her hand covers her mouth as she whispers. “...You’re right. What am I _doing?_ ” Connie smiles shakily and laughs sadly, shakily, and then they’re both crying and laughing because of how awful it all is.

Garnet leaves the temple two days later, when it has been a full week since the incident. The gem sits unassumingly upon a pillow. Pearl isn’t there, which surprises her, but a quick scan of her future vision suggests that the other gem is mostly likely in her room, perhaps taking her emotions out on a holopearl. In most futures she is safe, but Garnet sticks her head outside and takes a quick look at the top of the cliff/statue anyways. There is no one there, so she returns her attention to the diamond.

“...Hey, Steven.” She says to it quietly. “We love you.” She cannot bring herself to say anything else. She takes the jewel into her own gemmed hands carefully, and it is warm beneath her fingers. She ignores a tear prickling in her right eye and sets the diamond back down reluctantly. Amethyst shows up then, quiet and disheartened. She walks up to the pink gem, sighing and looking at it with pain in her eyes.

  
“Still not back yet, huh?” Amethyst says, her voice raspy, and Garnet isn’t sure if she’s talking about Steven or Rose. She does not ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment n tell me what u liked if u liked it. also the night that is mentioned in reference to priyanka is the first fic in this series (it all goes downhill from, uh, where was it again?)


	3. i'll be there soon

It is the ninth day when Bismuth arrives. They’ve all forgotten about her - she had left soon after the wedding on a mission of her own.

  
“I need to figure some things out,” She had said. “This corruption stuff… I don’t know how to feel about it yet.” Garnet lets her leave with a smile and a gentle touch - she remembers when the corruption had first happened, how it felt, _how close they were to-_

  
The other gems let her leave too, Steven accentuating his goodbye with an enthusiastic hug, and Bismuth thinks that maybe, just maybe, it’ll all be alright. Rose - Pink - may have been in the wrong, but Steven? Steven is joy to all around him. Steven doesn’t hide his mistakes.

  
That thought is echoing happily in her head when she appears in a flash of blue light. She yells out a greeting, expecting a warm welcome, hoping that the gems aren’t out on a mission - she knows they most likely aren’t, not with Garnet’s future vision, but worry still lingers. Garnet can’t know everything (she remembers). 

When her eyes land on the pink gem, unconnected to anyone, her mind is halted. Disbelief mars her features, and obviously it must be a joke.

  
“Uh, g-guys? This isn’t funny! Steven?” She lifts up the couch hopefully. “Are you under there?” The pink diamond sparkles under the light, catching her eye. Bismuth walks towards it cautiously, grief dawning in her eyes. “No…”

  
The gem is real, and there is nothing she can do about it. Tears that she _will not_ let fall bloom in the corners of her eyes and she slams falls to her knees and slams her fist against the hardwood floor. “No!”

How could this happen? _How could this happen!?_ Bismuth’s emotions were swirling, and soon a thought arose from the mess: _If Pink dares to reform I’ll shatter her for real._  
She ignores the opening of the temple door. Whoever it is doesn’t matter because she doesn’t know if Steven is coming back. _Steven,_ who was nothing like his mother, who let her out of the bubble after she attacked him, nearly _shattered him_ , and forgiven her as though there was nothing to forgive. Steven, who convinced her to come back _home_ against all odds.

Steven, who was currently lost, possibly forever.

Bismuth ignores the gentle hand on her shoulder.   
  


Steven wants to leave the darkness, but he is tired. His body and gem are weak from change, but his mind is clearer now. He remembers his friends - his family. He wants to go  _ home. _ The darkness is not home, no matter how much his gem feels it is. He wonders what happened to him - he can barely remember. Were- were they on a mission? Suddenly he remembers - remembers the  _ pain, _ the spike tearing through his neck mercilessly. The look on Garnet’s face as she saw him, the glimpse of Amethyst and Pearl he had before it all went black. He- is he dead!? No, no, that couldn’t be it… Had he been poofed? Would he be able to come back!? His eyes stung, this time with tears.

“I want to go home,” He whispered, fatigue deep in every fiber of his being.   
  


On the twelfth day, Garnet tells Greg. He panics, of course - Steven is his son.  
“What do you _mean_ you don’t know if he’ll come back!?” His voice goes high and he runs his hands through his hair. Garnet looks down at the ground with a frown.

“I can’t see what’s going to happen. Rose could come back, or Steven could, or neither of them. There’s no way to know.” Garnet phases away her visor, looking Greg in the eyes with all three of hers. “I’m sorry.”

  
Greg stammers for a moment, then sighs. “I-I understand. Can I at least see him?” Garnet nods, and soon they’re back at the temple and Garnet’s visor is in place. Greg is unsure if he actually wants to see what’s inside, but walks in anyway. When he sees the gem, a shape he’s only ever seen from one angle before, his breath catches in his throat and cold realization seeps in. This isn’t some joke, some mundane injury. That is his _son_ lying on the table, except maybe that gem isn’t his son anymore, and that is more terrifying to think about than the thought of Rose returning. 

Bismuth is sitting on the couch. She watches them from afar, an empty expression on her face. Amethyst ignores them from her position in front of Steven’s bed, glaring at the television. Pearl and Connie are also by the gem, Rose’s sword laying forgotten on the counter. 

  
“O-oh. Hello, Greg.” Pearl says when she sees him, obviously a little startled by his sudden appearance. Peridot has been dragged out of the bathroom by someone, and is laying halfway off the couch despondently.

  
“...Hey, Pearl.” Greg doesn’t look at her, eyes caught on the pink gem. As he moves forward, light catches on the facets, sharp edges glinting lifelessly. He is quiet for a second, a contemplative look in his eyes. “...I think we all need a break.”

  
“What do you mean?” It is Garnet who speaks next, but most of the gems (and one other human) in the room are looking at him. The only two who can’t be bothered are Bismuth and Peridot - even Amethyst is looking down at him.

  
“We- We can’t go on like this. Just _waiting…_ We need to at least try and be happy for when Steven comes back.” Greg speaks with certainty, glancing at the diamond when he says Steven’s name.  
“We don’t even know if he’s coming back, Greg!” Amethyst snaps. “Ugh!” She crosses her arms, glaring down at the floor.

  
“Greg’s right.” To everyone’s surprise, Bismuth speaks up. “There’s nothing we can do but wait. We’ll just make it worse by moping around.” She stands up, determination shining in her eyes. “Do we want Steven to come back and see us like this!? _I_ say there’s no point to it. C’mon, gang, why don’t we try one of those new Crystal Gem rituals?”

  
“Yeah!” Greg agrees.

“Why don’t we play a board game or something?” Connie adds, looking around at the rest of the gems. Pearl seems uncertain, but Garnet has a small smile on her face. Peridot hasn’t responded much to the suggestion, but Amethyst is looking down at them again, a little interested in what they had to say but obviously conflicted.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Garnet says, and Connie grabs one off the shelf. Monopoly.

“...I suppose I could play.” Pearl says, hesitating. She picks up the diamond and the pillow it rests upon, setting it down on the table near where Connie and Bismuth are working to set up the game. Greg sits cross-legged on the floor in front of it. Pearl takes her spot on the couch, and Garnet sits next to Greg.

“Amethyst? Do you want to play too?” Connie calls up to the purple gem, as though suddenly remembering she existed.

“...Fine, I’ll play.” Amethyst concedes after a moment of silence. She’s still obviously unhappy, but drops down onto the couch between Bismuth and Pearl anyway. Bismuth lifts Peridot up from her face-down position on the couch.

“You gonna play, Peridot?” She asks with a hopeful smile.

“Ugh. I guess so.” Her response is unenthusiastic, but it is enough for the people around her. Bismuth sets her down properly on the couch, where she stays upright and looks tiredly down at the game.

Twenty minutes later, they are all absorbed in the game. Competition had been brewing for the last ten minutes, a semi-friendly race between Pearl and Greg to buy Boardwalk cropping up anytime they made it near the end of the board - oddly enough, they seemed to be generally near each other in the game at any given time. Peridot had come out of her shell about fifteen minutes in when she swiped a property right from under Bismuth’s nose, immediately placing three houses on it. She became only more triumphant when the older gem landed on the space. Amethyst was still in a slightly bad mood, but laughed whenever anyone (especially Pearl) picked up a bad chance card, ended up in jail, or had to pay anyone a higher amount of money.

Connie was helping Bismuth with anything she didn’t understand (mostly locations and situations detailed on chance cards), while concentrating on her own strategy. Garnet was enjoying herself - future vision definitely came in handy when it came to most games. Nobody else saw rhyme or reason in the properties she bought and passed by or the houses and hotels she assigned to her properties.

Until she successfully caused everyone else to go bankrupt in a vicious streak of others landing on her properties. No one was really mad - they had fun with the game, and honestly the demise of everyone else in the game was entertaining for everyone to watch.

They nearly didn’t notice when the diamond sitting on the table began to glow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha cliffhanger. also please comment if you dont i will die


	4. everything we could be

The diamond moved into the air, tip facing upwards. The glow it gave off seemed to come from deep within before pushing outwards in an attempt to form. All the eyes in the room were wide and trained on the gem currently reforming. The light (a blinding white tinged with pink at the edges) grew outward into a shape only a little over half of them recognized. Pink Diamond. But before anyone could react with anything but a widening of the eyes and clenched fists, the silhouette shrunk, long ringlets of hair and a large dress obvious features despite the fact that nobody had reformed yet. The shape held for a moment, long enough for Bismuth to grit her teeth and shapeshift one of her hands into a hammer. Then the light trembled, losing its form yet again to shrink into a more Steven-sized form.

The light solidified, color coming into it to detail features. The figure lowered to the floor. It was obviously Steven, but he looked  _ different _ . None of them could really tell if it was actually longer, but it was certainly  _ bigger _ , two ringlets falling forwards over his shoulders, the rest laying back against his head, a streak of pink cutting through one of them. There was a half-star cutout in his shirt for his gem, cut off just below his gem to flare outwards in a near exact copy of Pink Diamond’s tutu - the only difference was the color, which was darker, and the lack of white stripes near the ends. It also wrapped entirely around his body, with no breaks in the middle. His pants were puffy like Pink’s, but his legs lacked her tights. His feet were adorned with shoes deeply reminiscent of Pink’s.

However, one of the most striking differences was his skin. Patches of pink were scattered around his body. One patch covered his eyes, and a particularly large one surrounded his gem, which sparkled point-up in the lights. Just as he opened his eyes, he was rushed into a hug by Greg. With a warbling cry of his name, tears spilling out of her eyes, Pearl joined in. It was only a few moments before everyone in the house was wrapped in a huge group hug. The only ones not actually crying were Bismuth and Connie, and Bismuth still had tears in her eyes. Steven held onto them all like he would die if he didn’t, also crying. It seemed a long time even to the gems (longer for the two humans of the bunch) that they held onto him, but eventually everyone had calmed down enough to step back from Steven.

Steven opened his eyes, joy filling him - he was just so happy to see his family again. But confusion reached him when Pearl gasped and the others’ eyes widened.

“Steven, your  _ eyes.” _ Pearl said, moving her hand to frame his face. “You… You look so much like her.”

“W-what do you mean, Pearl?” Just then, he noticed how different he looked - he brought one shaking hand up to his eyes, staring at the pink hue. He looked down at himself, eyes widening even wider as he saw what he was wearing. The point of his gem seemed to mock him, unfamiliar and strange. He pushed past the people surrounding him none too gently, running into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. Tears brimmed in his eyes once again when he saw his hair, shakily running his hand through the pink streak. Then he saw his eyes.

  
“No…” He couldn’t stop looking at himself.

  
“Steven?” Garnet asked, sticking her head in through the bathroom door. She was accompanied by Connie and Greg. Steven didn’t pay her any mind - he was too preoccupied with staring at his own eyes. Bright pink, with diamond shaped pupils. They seemed too bright for his face, too bright for the lights of the room to simply be shining on them. Suddenly, he had an idea - he could probably shapeshift them away, right? Gritting his teeth, he focused on what his eyes had been like before any of this happened - dark brown, almost black, _anything but pink_. A dull, itching pain shot through his eyes as he did, but he paid it no mind, furrowing his brow and concentrating harder.

  
“Steven! You need to stop, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Garnet rushed into the bathroom, crouching down next to the young gem, closely followed by the two humans. The pain reached a peak, and Steven flinched in on himself, shutting his eyes tight. Looking back in the mirror, he could see that there was no difference in how his eyes looked. Garnet put her hand on his shoulder, frowning.

  
“You okay there, Steve-o?” Greg said softly, concern obvious on his face. He knelt down next to the two gems, and was startled for a second when Steven pulled him into a hug, but returned it quickly. 

“It’s okay, buddy.”

  
Steven held onto him for a moment, trying not to think about the changes to his form. 

“‘M sorry.”

“For what, buddy?” 

“I should’ve been more careful.” He loosened his grip slightly. “During the mission.” He elaborated.

  
“What happened wasn’t your fault, Steven. Sometimes, thing like that just.. happen.”

  
“Greg’s right, Steven. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Garnet added.

  
“It’s true, Steven! Don’t blame yourself for something like that!” Connie jumped in. Steven raised his head at her voice, looking at her.

“I- you’re right. This was bound to happen sometime anyway.” He looked a little more cheery, but then seemed to remember his form. He pulled away from Greg, looking at Garnet with a serious expression on his face. “Garnet, why did I form like this? Shouldn’t- Shouldn’t I look like i did before? And- and why is my hair like this-” he gestured to his hair “-if Mom’s hair only looked like that because she shapeshifted it?”

Garnet thought for a second. “Your gem helped you reform with what felt right. You’re not Rose, but all gems have general features they seem to favor - your hair is probably like that because your gem grew so used to holding that form that it became ingrained inside it. The same with your star.” She gently poked the exposed skin next to his gem.

  
“But… My skin. I’m pink.” Steven looked down at where Garnet had touched him.

  
“...I can’t say for sure. Perhaps it is a side effect of being half human.” She smiled at him gently. “Regardless, you’re a cutie pie no matter what form you take.” Steven smiled smally. Maybe this really would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fbd65077e246f53e3ef5a4fbfb5ded2/tumblr_pc5mfmzXb71w7t8r6o1_1280.png) is a link to how i imagine steven rn.. honestly im unsure about this chapter. please comment  
>  and yes that is my art


End file.
